My very sweet and cooperative mother and her (less-so) feline roommate posed for a portrait for my camera. I painted this quickly back in my studio, so I could enter it into the fast-approaching Hoosier Salon deadline. I finished painting it, photographing it, and submitting it online JUST before the stroke of midnight! Whew!! And guess what! It was juried in! Yay!!
"Longing" 18" x 24" Oil on Panel
I like the suggested narrative of the scene... with the subject looking toward the window in deep thought, not noticing her cat who is approaching her with caution or concern. I hope the viewer imagines a story for the characters. Is the lady lonely? Is she traveling in her memories to another place and time, or is her mind fading to the point of ignoring her pet?
The truth behind the scene is: My mom, at age 85, remains pretty sharp. She works at an elementary school for 4 hours a day as a "Grandma," which is a program for retirees who come in for nominal pay and help as teachers aides. She sits with children and helps them work on their reading or math. She gets lots of hugs. After a full morning, she likes retreating to her little apartment for the rest of the day. She wants to continue contributing to society as long as she can.
Another truth is that this old Persian cat is not nearly as beautiful as my mom. So, her face did not make it into the portrait. A visitor never knows if this cat is going to hiss at them or be nice to them. Her attitude can change in the blink of an eye. She keeps my mom busy because of all the matted hair and snot coming from her almost non-existent nasal passages. A face (that only a mom could love) like this would surely have been a distraction in my painting:
This little two year old is the daughter of a friend of mine. Her name is Leah. She has volunteered her cuteness for my portfolio. She is looking pretty serious about her cookie. I named this drawing "Intention" because she seems to have one.
"Intention" 14" x 12" Pastel and Colored Pencil on Canson Paper
Speaking of intention, I intend to create a newsletter that will come out either monthly or quarterly. If you are interested in receiving it, or any other big news that may come up, please fill out the form below and then click "subscribe". You will receive a follow up email from Mailchimp which will ask you to confirm your subscription. You must confirm to complete the process. This is how Mailchimp prevents scammers from using their services. If you don't see their confirmation email, then check your junk mail folder, because it might end up there.
I painted this for our retiring, talented pastor of 31 years. It was a big deal. It was unveiled for him on his last weekend as one of his gifts of gratitude from the church. He and his wife loved it. Scroll for photos.
THE VERY LONG VERSION:
First, my testimony...
Steve Reeves is why I started REALLY wanting to go to church. Back in the 90s, my heart was in a dark place. I started going to Brownsburg Christian Church (now known as Connection Pointe Christian Church) at the recommendation of a friend. As soon as I started listening to Steve, I knew I had found a spiritual leader that I so badly needed in my life. Week after week, he taught me about the biblical account of Christ and how He wants us to live. I needed this firm foundation, as I was drifting, spiraling, self-destructive. Steve reminded me of my dad, very witty, intelligent, and direct. When he talked, I was totally tuned in (and I have zero listening skills...big time ADD). When he talked, he did not take just one point and belabor it. He gave us good content to take notes on. Food to get me through the week... Purpose. Goals. Action. Boundaries. Love. I felt sometimes he was talking straight to me, although actually he did not know me personally. I slowly healed and my life has greatly improved.
One of the things he taught us is that we are made to serve and glorify God in our own unique way. I was thinking, yeah, I'm trained as a nurse (obviously I could do medical missions), but God has wired me as a visual artist. That is the area of my brain that works the best, and I'm very passionate about it. How cool it would be if my art skills could be used to serve and glorify God. Could it possibly make a difference in this world? I was not sure how. It does not feed the hungry, house the homeless, or treat the sick. Art falls under the category of a "want" and not a "need." This harsh world has some really desperate needs. I asked God to find some use for my art skills.
Now, the story of the painting:
The Brainstorm
A couple years ago, as I was sitting 4th row center as usual, I started thinking that there would come a day when Steve would retire (a day I rather dreaded). I imagined how I would like to paint his portrait sometime, as a gift of gratitude for what he has done for me. Well, his announcement came, and I mentioned to my husband Jeff what my idea was. He said, "If that is something you want to do, you had better be saying something to someone!" So I did. I told my dear friend Brian Fike, who is also a employed leader at the church. He liked the idea, and mentioned it to the elders and other key people at CPCC. They looked at my website, and liked what they saw. I met with elder Craig Hanson, and he shared his vision of a portrait of Steve and his wife Kristen together. But, more meetings happened within those church walls, and then Teresa Byington asked me to do a collage of scenes of Steve baptizing people.
I was resistant at first. Oh my, that is a LOT of little portraits in a complex composition. No way could I do that in the time allotted. I'm way too slow. The stress of trying would make me crazy. What if it turned out looking stupid? The whole church would see it! The thought was overwhelming. Teresa gave me an out and said, "Well, if you could find one photo that sums up baptism, then we could just go with that." She showed me online access to all the baptism photos from the past 4 years. I perused those and found that I could not narrow it down to only one. It became apparent that a collage would be necessary to describe all the stages and moments within the baptism experience. A collage would also illustrate God's love for all ages, all races, and both genders. This was the vision of my church. I was offered the privilege to make it a real thing. I've been well-trained for this moment. And the Holy Spirit was talking to my brain.
"Let's do this." Matthew 19:26
I sent a photoshop layout of photos in the best composition arrangement I could come up with to Teresa. She said it was so good it made her tear up. Uh oh, more confirmation that this is what I needed to do.
So, I did as I was taught by Steve. I gave it to God. I felt as though God was telling me to just pedal this bicycle, keep my eye on the road, and He would get me to the end. He navigated. Burdened lifted. He carried it. I stopped worrying about it (mostly), but I still took this job seriously.
Little color study to get me started.
Getting Down to Work
I was fully focused and engaged. I was told that Steve is quite humble and would not want the painting to be all about him and his own face. So, I really wanted to make the painting be about the love and joy of being cleansed and becoming children of God. Steve's images should be secondary to the moments he is assisting in. I needed to visually capture Steve's work, but not glorify Steve. I re-examined the brushwork of John Singer Sargent, who knew how to put paint on the canvas with accurate bravura. I also studied all materials from modern day master Richard Schmid. Every lunch break, I studied paintings by current masters of color and heavenly light... Zhaoming Wu, Dan Gerhartz, James Gurney. Anytime I had a question, answers came. Often they came while I was dreaming. One night I could not sleep. I turned on the most sleep-inducing show that I could think of, "The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross" (ya know, "happy trees" and all that). It did not make me sleepy. I watched him do some fancy stuff with a fan brush (while talking about God's miracles all around us, as Bob Ross often did in his soothing, whispery voice). The next day, I picked up my fan brush and did something cool with it. I also pulled out my notes from taking classes with Indianapolis artist Charlene Brown, and implemented some of the approaches she taught me.
My family members would come in every afternoon with a fresh eye, and give me their opinions for what was good in the painting, and what areas needed fixing. I didn't always enjoy what they had to say, but they were right. Every. Single. Time.
Every session was started with prayer. I played Spotify music, mostly focus instrumentals and contemporary Christian music. I invited the Holy Spirit into my studio every time. I needed help. The large central figures were from a black and white photo that was pixely when I enlarged it, so I had to invent color and guess at some details. It was so important that I get this right.
My Rewards
I became familiar with working on a surface that was new to me, the Raymar L64C belgian linen panel. I tried some new colors, brushes, and mediums. I improved on mixing flesh tones. I learned more about simulating bright light. I am more aware of value control, and it's importance in communicating the concept. I am better at moving my eyes around so that my eyeballs don't play color-perception tricks on me from staring at one color for too long.
I learned how to quit goofing around on the internet so much, and get into that studio and start treating my painting career like it's my job. I developed a solid routine for setting up in the morning and shutting down in the evening. I discovered that too much exposure to solvents is bothersome to my airways, so I learned how to minimize that. I was too focused on the painting to feed my sugar addiction, and now I crave it less. While pushing paint around, I had time to think and pray and work through some personal issues. My standing muscles got stronger. I learned to trust God more. I became braver. I slayed some giants.
Ultimately, I participated in the creation of a unique and personal gift for Steve and Kristen, who deserve it. I finally found an opportunity to serve with my artistic skills.
The following video was filmed by my daughter Alyssa (thanks sweetie!). I was too nervous. I just wanted to watch the moment.
Okay, I must insert here that it was surreal seeing my own easel with my painting on it up on that stage, and hearing my name mentioned by Greg Moore in front of the whole church.
Taken after the ceremony
After the ceremony, once they figured out who did this, I got big warm hugs from the Reeves. Steve said he loved it, and would cherish looking at it everyday from this day on. He said he was blown away, and that it could not have been more perfect.
The next day, their son Nate told me that, at first glance, Steve did not even notice himself in the painting. All he saw was the baptism scenes. That thrilled me, because that meant that I had successfully communicated the concept that I intended to.
My art may not have made a difference in the world, but it made a difference for someone who has made a difference in many lives. Thank you Steve, for talking straight to me.
Thank you so much to Teresa Byington and Laura Basso for your kindness and availability to me, and for your moral support and patience with all of my questions and crazy requests.
Thanks also to my husband Jeff, and my kids Jake and Alyssa. You were awesome throughout, with hugs, taking over (most) domestic chores, and lugging my equipment when necessary.
Tribute to Steve Reeves 30" x 30" Oil on panel
It's on to the next thing now... right after I clean my house.
This young lady is the 4th child in her family, and she has been waiting for her portrait to be done so it will hang with those of her siblings. We had to wait for her to grow though, so her portrait would match the ages of the others in their portraits. Also, I understand that Agnes is a little less inclined to sit still and pose, so her mother took several photos over a few months, trying to get a good shot. I would have tried to take the photos myself, but they live in Germany, and that's a tad too far away (although I should have traveled there and called it a business trip)!
Anyway, here's Agnes...
"Agnes" 11" x 9" Colored pencil on Stonehenge gray
This is a portrait of my daughter, Alyssa, at her favorite coffee shop in her college town. The Cup, located in The Village near BSU,
was a treasured oasis for her. She came here several times to "get
away from it all," so much so that the staff knew her name and what she
was going to order. The student artwork that graced the walls were an
inspiration to her creative soul. She loved sitting at the back table by the
stained glass window where she could sip her chai, do her homework, and
write her novels and poetry.
I journeyed up to Muncie a handful of times to join her in this quaint little creative zone, so I could hear about her college life, admire the changing art exhibit, and savor my own toasty-hot chai tea.
Perhaps a more apt name would be Falling in Love With The Cup.
Falling in Love at The Cup 16" x 30" Oil
As I was putting finishing touches on the painting, a song came on the radio which inspired the perfect name for the painting. Here is the video "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg. I have fallen in love with this song.
I am excited and honored to announce that "Falling in Love at The Cup" is an accepted entry in the 2017- 93rd Annual Hoosier Salon Exhibition! Thank you to judges Sherrie McGraw and Jim Wodark! Of the 619 entries received, 159 were accepted, so it is quite an honor.
Last year I painted this for my friend Emily. She commissioned this portrait of her fiance's beloved dog, to be her gift to him on their wedding day. She did the photo shoot, and sent me the files to pick from. I got the portrait done just in time. The paint was still wet when he opened it. Meet Marshall:
"Marshall" 11 x 11" Oil on canvas panel
Emily generously loaned it back to me, so I could varnish it and enter it in a show. I so very badly wanted to enter this one in the Hoosier Salon, but the
rules say that it must be for sale. Other quality shows, as far as I can tell, have the same rule. Obviously, "Marshall" was sold before I painted it.
I did a lot of things right in this painting that I have been trying to do in past works. I like "Marshall" so much I really want to keep him, but he needs to go back to his rightful owners now.
Words cannot describe the magnitude of pain felt by parents
who have lost a child.I will not
pretend to know what it is like to experience it.My own baby, Jacob, was walking that line in
a NICU 24 years ago, but he survived.
Asher Charles was born on January 28, 2015.He was born prematurely at 31 weeks
gestation. His mother has given me permission to tell this story.
His mother, Marti, is a new nurse in the NICU where I work.It’s a big unit so I did not get to know her
before she had Asher, nor did I get the privilege of taking care of him while
he was in our NICU.But I did get the
honor of painting him after he passed, and since then, getting to know Marti.
Marti is a girl whom I have a heart for.She, like me, had a baby in the NICU before
she was ever a nurse.She, like me, was
so inspired by the NICU nurses who pulled her baby (Landon, now 4 years old)
through, that she went back to nursing school and changed careers.She, like me, struggled in school with our
PTSD and anxiety, but was determined to push through so we could
“give back.” Like soldiers who finish a
tour of duty in war but keep re-enlisting, both of us found our way back to the
NICU on the other side, as a RN.Coming
into it, both of us struggled with “fitting in”, of overcoming our haunting
NICU memories, with learning to deal with the stress of that environment, and we
stuck it out anyway.We both have teetered
between “I love my job” and “what have I done to my life?”
But that is where our similarities end.Her second child came into the world when she
was fresh off of orientation in our NICU, and she was thrust back into her
previous role of NICU mom.
At 31 weeks, Asher’s odds of pulling through were mostly in
his favor.But survival statistics
provide no solace if your baby gets the raw deal.Sweet Asher was overcome by NEC, which is a
complication that some preemies get where part or all of the intestinal tract
dies.He passed away in his loving
parents’ arms on February 13, 2015.
Asher's last day. Courtesy of NILMDTS
Karrie and Susan, close coworker friends of Marti’s, took up
a collection and commissioned a portrait by me.This reference photo was taken by a volunteer photographer from a
non-for-profit company called Now I Lay
Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS).Marti
had told Susan that this was her favorite one.The nurses wanted to present the artwork to Marti as a gift at a
memorial tile blessing ceremony.NILMDTS
kindly granted me permission to use the image to create a portrait.
I decided to
take the black and white photo and turn it into a color portrait.What was I thinking?I had never done that before!All they had originally asked for was a
drawing, nothing too hard.But I tend to
bite off more than I can chew.I’m not
kidding when I tell you that I prayed every single time I went into the studio
to work on that portrait, “God, please guide my hand and help me create
something that Marti and her family will love.They deserve it.Help me to shut
off the chatter in my brain and really listen to Your guidance, because this
painting has got to be good.For their
sake, don’t let me crank out a turkey.”
Taking a black and
white reference photo and ascribing color to it was actually very
liberating.It freed me to imagine the
color of the background, and the color of the light sources around them.I was able to communicate, with reds,
oranges, and yellows, the warm energy and love that family can give to and draw
from each other.I could then contrast
this with the cold harshness of the world outside of their unity by portraying
it with blue.As the warm light washes
over Asher, he becomes his own source of light, illuminating his father’s face
with gold.I also deliberately broke the
rule of “warm light/cool shadow and cool light/warm shadow” by painting the
shadows that Asher casts on his mother’s chest as more like pools of orange
heat, which represents the connection that they shared when skin-to-skin.
I would not have taken
these liberties with color if I had followed a color photograph.I would have tried so hard to reproduce the
moment captured, that I would have adhered too closely to the colors in the
photo.I think the painting is better
this way.I was able to enjoy adding my
own interpretation, which took me one step closer to creating an artwork, and
not just a painting.
I barely got the painting done in time.My husband Jeff, on short order, made a
lovely custom frame out of oak with a mahogany stain.I framed the wet painting and took it to the
ceremony.The attendees were Marti and
her husband Zac, and their son Landon, their families and closest friends, as well as
many staff from our NICU.After the
chaplain blessed the tile with holy water and gave a speech, Karrie took the
floor.She announced that the NICU staff
had commissioned a portrait, and she pulled the drape off the portrait.Marti clung to her husband’s arm and
exclaimed, “Our baby!!”Both of them
cried.
Marti and Karrie
Chaplain Brenda decided right then to bless the portrait as
well, with the holy water, her fingers tracing a small cross right above the
image of Asher’s head.I was thankful to
God for this blessing by a chaplain, and I was thankful she didn’t accidentally
touch the wet paint.
Marti tearfully spoke to the small crowd,“Thank you all for coming and for all the
support,” and then to the NICU staff, “Thank you for all that you did for
Asher…for all that you tried to do…thank you so much.”
Marti eventually came up to the painting, and she kept
hovering her hand over Asher’s head, saying, “I want to touch it so
badly!”She did this more than
once.She knew the paint was still wet
though, so she exercised great restraint.She talked about some of her most precious memories of Asher was from
their time in skin-to-skin holding, and of touching his soft wispy hair.
Sweet family of four... Zac, Landon, and Marti, and Asher (in spirit)
She tells me she keeps the painting safe in Asher’s room
(away from the flying dust of their current home improvement projects),
patiently waiting for the paint to dry. She goes in there several times a day
to look at it. Initially, sometimes it
was several times an hour.She says she wants
to “pull him right out of the painting.”Once construction stops at their house, it will be displayed in their
living room.
The other day she brought it to work so I could borrow it
back, because I needed to sign it and, if dry enough, possibly varnish it.She brought it in the box, and at the end of
the workday, would not let me carry it to my car because I had a drink in my
hand.That makes me smile.She walked me to my car and I had her place
it in my trunk.She did, but made me
promise that the painting would be safe in there.We talked about Asher for a while, and she
cried.My heart goes out to her.It was hard for her to let me drive off with
the painting.As soon as I got home, I
sent her a large jpg file of the painting so she could put it on her computer as
wallpaper.And when I brought it
back to her, in its box and wrapped in plastic, she could not resist opening it
to make sure it was still okay.The
importance of this picture to Marti inspired the title of this blog post.
"Loving Asher" 10 x 14" Oil on linen panel
This courageous woman, Marti, came back to our battlefield back
in April.Emotionally wounded and
missing her Asher, she comes in and pours her heart into her work by supporting
parents, vigilantly assessing and caring for the babies, and readily and
without hesitation puts scrawny little preemies on their mother’s chest for
skin-to-skin holding so they can draw strength and warmth from each other.Because Marti knows, on a level deeper than
most nurses can know, just how golden that cuddle time is.
My dad gave me his 4th grade reader. I love the look of old books, and I wanted to include this one in a painting.
My original plan was to stick a white rose in that vase, but I decided instead to feature this more visually interesting oakleaf hydrangea blossom that I borrowed from my landscaping. Pretty sure that was a good call.
The dark blue vase was sculpted by my son, when he was a kid, at the Broad Ripple Art Fair. A friend of ours painted and fired it for us. I love that thalo blue/green color!
Becky, a coworker of mine at the NICU, is getting married soon. She asked me to design her "Save the Date". She gave me all the locations in the Indianapolis area that were significant in her relationship with Marcus, and that hold a special place in their hearts. She also gave me some examples of whimsical maps that she has seen, and her personal vision for her own version.
I put this together in Photoshop Elements. It was a challenging project, with all the details existing on a different layer. But having it that way did make revisions go smoothly. After Becky requested some tweaks on my part, she sent it to her printer. The printer did a great job, and now these postcards have traveled all over the globe to her loved ones.
Although I do not intend to make and sell these as a part of my art business, it was fun to experiment with graphic design again. And it was especially fun to see Becky really love them. In fact, she says she had it printed larger and framed for hanging in her home.
I’ve been wondering
if there is a way for my artwork to serve God and bless others. In my nursing job, it’s easy to feel as
though my work is for the Lord.
But with art… well, art is a “want”, not a “need.” I wasn’t sure how God could use my
skills.
My question was
answered when I was approached by my coworker, Ann Deweese. She invited me to participate in an
important opportunity to help young women who have been enslaved by human
trafficking and the sex trade.
Her daughter Sarah
is involved in the Red Light Campaign, which is a student led campaign to end
sex trafficking. It is happening
on IU’s campus during the month of February. Among many other events, the team is hosting a formal art
auction on February 18th, 2012, in Alumni Hall. Here is the link with more information
about “A Night for Freedom”: https://www.facebook.com/events/365863970090894/
All of the proceeds
will go to Rapha House, a safehouse in Cambodia for girls rescued from the sex
trade.
My job was to
create a painting that represents “freedom.” This is what I came up with. I hope it brings them a small fortune. I feel honored to assist these
inspiring young adults who, working together, are a light of hope in this dark
and scary world.
